halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
