You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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