Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
