Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have post one night stand depression
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