Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dick very happy bro
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
