I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize