But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
