By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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