I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
