Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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