Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
