just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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