Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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