oh god the rape fog is back!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
