I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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