my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
