his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
