I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
