i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
