I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
