I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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