i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
