Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
