How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
