Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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