I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
