We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
