oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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