dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
