Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
