They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
