I must be too annoying 4 u.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
