some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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