Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
