was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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