At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
