ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
