What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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