So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
