I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
