My hand turned me down
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
