I want to have your abortion
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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