Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
