And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
