at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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