You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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