remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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