I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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