O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Acid is not a monday night drug
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
