No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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