Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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