Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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