come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
