I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize