so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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