Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
