HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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