We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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