i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
