brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
