he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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