i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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