I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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