Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
