im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
